The end of an era..

I agree with every critic who'll claim that the 'era' of Michael Jackson has been ended a long time ago. Totally true. I'm honest enough to say that his most recent songs (also a while ago) just weren't any good.
And I'm still shocked about the things I saw en heard in Martin Bashir's docu. After that, the image of Michael could never be the same, it was all too sad. And I was done with Michael, with respect for the genius he had been before and during my childhood.

But when I woke up today, 26th june of 2009, and saw on the 'breaking news' of CNN that Michael Jackson IS dead, I had to sit down and push back my tears.

This was the definite end of an era.

And it's weird. It's weird that someone who has been there my whole life, all of a sudden isn't around anymore. The story is over before it was. Or so it seems.

Won't remember him as 'agent M' tho, rather more a bit like this:

"Jaqeus" ?? ?

When I was a rebelious youngster, I thought tattoos were awesome and that I definetely needed one. I was thinking about something like this:

or this:

Of course the deal didn't go through, because I know my mum would kill me when she'd find out. And she would definately find out about it..

How great tattoos seemed, I'd never go for anyone's name tattooed anywhere on my body. Relationships are dynamical - yes, I knew this back then already - and in my opinion one would always regret a name tattoo eventually. And names tattood in 'plain' font aren't decorative anyway, they're ... ugly .. there I said it!

Sursprised was I to see a women with a name tattoo on the train today.
Not only because she apparantly DOES find name tattoos in worthwhile, but also because the name she had (probably painfully) tattood wasn't spelled correctly...


.. The only vowel after a "q" can be a "u" ..

Sins in arrogance

I've been thinking about some of the daily sins that I commit, like listening to music. Yes, in my opnion listening to music is haram and therefor it's arrogant of me to keep on listening (music isn't even the real issue here, just one example of the many unlawful things I do ;p)

Will Allah (SWT) forgive me, even when it's pure arrogance manifesting itself in my deeds? And will He still forgive me, when we both know that I will listen to some more music tomorrow - and perhaps even sing-along?

I hope He does .. I might have a little problem otherwise.

..but I'm afraid I have to repent in honesty and stop doing all the things that are wrong and I don't feel that I'm ready for that yet ..

Meanwhile I thank my mum for making me learn all the six kalima's and making me reading them every day before I fall asleep:

"I seek forgiveness from Allah, my Lord, from every sin I committed knowingly or unknowingly, secretly or openly, and I turn towards Him from the sin that I know and from the sin that I do not know. Certainly You, You (are) the knower of the hidden things and the Concealer (of) the mistakes and the Forgiver (of) the sins. And (there is) no power and no strength except from Allah, the Most High, the Most Great." - 5th 'kalima'

The first Islam Congres in the Netherlands

I was surprised to see the amount of people that showed up for this Congres.
The visitors were from across all of the Netherlands, from different nationalities and with different Islamic views.

As I looked around I realised that this was my Ummah.
Here were the muslims of the Netherlands that care about their religion and about eachother.
All differences set aside, here we were all muslims and acknowledged eachother therein.

I'd like to thank the organization for this beautiful experience, and Insha'Allah me and my Ummah will profit from this meeting and hopefully many more.

Honor exists

There was a man striving to do good in the eyes of Allah (SWT). He worked very hard to become one of those Allah(SWT) was pleased with, in the hope that he would be granted a place near Allah (SWT) in the hereafter.

Eventhough his goal was clear, his path wasn't.
He was struggling with he many decisions he had to make in life and this was getting weary on him. When asked about why making decisions was so difficult for him, considering he quite well knew what he wanted and how to get it, he answered:
"My wife and kids need security in this life, so that they can develop themselves into good muslims - and it is my task to provide this security for them, before I can work on my own development"

Upon hearing this, I was amazed. Amazed to see a person taking his responsibility further than anyone would expect from him. I could come with no other description of his thoughts then ' honorable'. For I think there's true honor in working as hard as he does, and reasons for his motivation. Insha'Allah he will be granted what he wishes for (Ameen).

The need to socialize

After a long resistance against hyves I had to yield, and now resistance against facebook seems futile as well.

I've had an account for ages, but now I've added some friends .. and to be honest, it seems a lot like 'hyves', so why another network in the form of facebook? I'm not that global yet, I don't have many international contacts - and frankly I don't think I'll have them any time soon. There seems to be no use for facebook.

Do I feel left behind, when not part of this network? .. yes, a little ..

So, for all the wrong reasons: facebook here I come!

.. it's 2009 now .. eh ..

Time sure flies ... and not only when having fun.
What has happened the past decade? Not only to the world, but to me, personally. I feel like my life has been frozen in 1998 and that I'm living someone else's life since. That's probably the reason why I don't age, not physically and not mentally - frozen in time, until the spell breaks.

I think it's time now. Time to snap out of it and realize that I am who I am! Still have to figure out what that means tho.

2009 .. already .. and what have I done with my life so far? And more important: what will I do with my life from this day on?

Of course, that it's 2009 doesn't have anything to do with this philosophizing, nor the fact that I'll turn 28 this month ;p

It's just time ..

Eid-ul-Adha 2008

A moment of bliss

.. enjoying the moment ..

.

History seems an understatement

The more I think about it, the more I realise that in my short life there have been many events and figures that have written history.
I'm surprised that this much significancy can happen in such a short period, and not to mention the great historical events before I was born.

If placed in a wide perspective I'd name the period from World War II, till now and still ongoing the EXTRA-HISTORICAL ERA. Just think about the relatively short period and it's events ..

Who would have thought that a nuclear bomb would be used against mankind?
Who would have thought that genocide would take the scales that they have?
Who would have thought that men would walk the moon?
Who would have thought nations would unite?
Who would have thought that global warming would show it's effects this soon?
And ...
Who would have thought that the United States of America would vote for a black president?!


Not me, and I'm sure Chris Rock neither ..

who decides ..

..what you should do with your life?
..how you should handle your responsibilities?
..what should be best for you?
..how you should react in tense situations?
..what's right and what's wrong?

What are these decisions based on?
Are these fair?

Inspired by the Olympics

just play the game
and play it fair
fight the fight
and don't despair

If you think you've lost
then you have
But don't think you've won
until you have

accept the challenge
grasp every opportunity
push your limits
and you'll have victory

(Insha'Allah)

tip: google theme logo's - every day a new olympic google,
for example (nr 08 basketball):

chilling out the hecticness

I've been more than excited in April, with the start of my job. But in june the first dark clouds arrived. Internal reorganizations highlighted the end of my contract, in octobre 2008. There were no means, nor any need, to keep me any longer.

At least not at the location where I worked. I tried my luck and applied with a location, not far from my house. And now 1 month later, I don't have to live in tension anymore :) The managers have come to an agreement: as of the first of September I shall be transfered to my new second home!

Besides my personal situation, work has been very demanding as well. A lot of cases had to be wrapped and closed. All unfinished business had to be finished. I did (at least) twice the work I did normally.

It didn't help dat Umar Haroen hasn't been feeling so good either.
Busy at work, busy at home, no time to relax and feeling that I was tiring out.
But no need to worry, this week has been a turning point. Calmness has returned in my life and the sun is shining again (as a figure of speech, obviously). I've done very well with my deadlines, Umar is feeling better again and my job is secure again!!

My plans for the next month?
Sit back, relax and enjoy the 'summer'!

Stepping into the world

The time has finally come that my son will go to the nursery. On the 2nd of April it will be his first day, a whole day without his mother, father and other relatives. A whole day surrounded by strangers, most of them kids - who happen to be a bit older than he is. I can only imagine how scary that must be for him. On the other hand, he likes playing with kids and there are lots of toys at the nursery - he might just forget that it's scary and enjoy himself. Either way, he's stepping into the social world, where there's a lot for him to learn. One step into the world of the grown-ups.

And as he will, I'll do the same. I too shall take another big step in the world of the grown-ups. It will be the first day of the rest of my working life. YES, I've finally got a job - it only took me 6 months (*sarcasm*). I'll be working in a team of child-protection, which is a branch of social work, focused on the safety & health of children in problematic families.

I couldn't be more excited. I'm having flashbacks to the first day of school, all of them. How I prepared myself for the big day, by buying new clothes and make-up and trying different styles. My way of preparation hasn't changed :P

I think it'll be alright, both for me and my son. We'll manage just fine, and I'm sure that we both will be happy about taking that very big step.

What I want to see .. beauty ..

Non-religious folk tend to be skeptic towards anything and everything related to any religion. Where religious people are struck by miracle after miracle, nonbelievers will say "you only see it as a miracle, because it's what you want to see". And I have to give it to them, it's quite true - if you don't believe in miracles, you won't see them as such. There's always another scientific explanation, which makes more sense most of the times.

For me though, my religion has shown me a different look on the world. It has exposed to me the beauty of the creation, as it is more perfect than I could ever imagine. Everyday, for example, I'm amazed by the colours that decorate the sky.

On sunday, 17/02/2008, I saw death. When I went to feed my guinea pigs I found that one of them had died. As a normal woman, I was shocked to see her dead and I cried almost hysterically. I pulled myself together and went back to the cage, where I had to double-check. Sadly enough I wasn't mistaken, Pokì had died. But there was something else that struck me. Her face was in the direction of the Qibla, the direction we read our Salat (muslim prayer), the direction of Kaaba in Makkah.

Was that a coincidence? Did I only see that because I'd like to believe that it's true? Does it matter if I'm right or not? All I can say, is that to me it was a little (HUGE) miracle, and it comforted me. It gave me the feeling that my guinea pig had died in peace. That her last thoughts were with the Creator, and that she told Him that she was on her way to Him.

It sure sounds beautiful to me.

Dear Diary

Hi, it has been a while. I know I've neglected our friendship a bit, I'm sorry. It's really nice to see you again!

Do you remember how close we were 10 years ago? We had our secrets, our laughs and our tears. And sometimes, we just sat there on my bed, in silence. No one else got to know me the way you did. To you I could say anything and everything, you'd let me be me. And I'll always love you for it.

Now I have a new friend. A blog. But that friendship will never be like ours, it will never be the same. My dearest diary, I guess I just wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten about you.

Love,
Naila

ps. I'll make sure I'll write this down, as soon as I find you ..

But I DO want to be in the middle!

I just can't believe the teaser I just saw on the tv-screen. I didn't know they were working on this movie. Never guessed they'd make a 'sequel'. But it's real, and it will be on the big screen from thursday on.

What am I talking about? Only about nothing less than:

ALIEN VS. PREDATOR 2!!

Can't wait to see it!

Gotto go .. have to find a babysitter asap :P

Am I Legend?

There have been many movies made about 'creatures' that hunt human beings for food. So what is it about 'I am legend' that differs it from the rest?

The only think I can come up with, is that it starrs Will Smith. I have only half a good word on the movie, because the first half of the movie was good. Can we blame the poor writing of the second half to the writers's strike? I'd like to, because I can't imagine any other reason why it was so terrible..

It all started when I disagreed with Will. Just after the scene where one of the infected ones came out in the sun, Will Smith said that "they were devolving" meaning, that they were no longer humans, but creatures who only act upon instincts. But it was obvious that the infected ones came out of the building in attempt to rescue it's girlfriend - showing signs of social attachment and courage.

No wonder Will Smith didn't see that trap coming ..

Rating: O O _ _ _

I yield..

I've fought for years now against me signing up with the network 'hyves'.To resist any temptation I even refused to visit the site ... until yesterday.

Yesterday I looked up a friends of mine who had invited me to Hyves a couple of years ago. I recognized many of her 'friends' from our high school period, and I thought that it was so cool to speak to them again. After seeing that more of my good friends were in the network, I yielded and signed up.

So go and check out my hyves-page!!
http://nailaghani.hyves.nl/

update: It's really fun to speak to my old friends again!

Eid Mubarak!!

Once upon a time in a land far far away,
there was an old man named Abraham. Abraham was a pious man en one night God spoke to him in his dream.
"Abraham, you must sacrifice your son to Me"
The next day Abraham told his son about his dream, and his brave son Ismael tol dhim what to do.
"Dad, if Allah wants you to sacrifice me, then you must."

And together they walked up the hill to the altar. When Abraham was about to slaughter his son, an angel appeared with a goat.
"Abraham, you have proved you willingness to sacrifice the one thing that's most dear to you in life, for Allah. Now, take this goat and sacrifice it instead."

To remember the piousness of Abraham, and stop to think about how much our beloved ones and precious posessions mean to us in relation to Allah - muslims celebrate the day of Eid-ul-Adha, on the 10th of Dhul-Hidja (this year the 19th or 20th of december)

WISHING YOU ALL A BLESSED EID-UL-ADHA!!!

I believe in..

When I was a little girl I was sent to mosque every saturday & sunday. There I learned to read the Qur'an and had to memorize short 'prayers'. At the time, I had (of course) no idea what the meaning of all those texts were - because I didn't understand Arabic and no one bothered to give any explanation.

As I grew older, I found some meanings out myself, and one of my favourites was the 'Ark`an al Imaan', also known as the 6 pillars of Faith. One of my favourites because of it's meaning. And though I've read it often, it never struck my heart as it did when I heard Talib al Habib's version on YouTube. (I prefer the short one :) )

The short version:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=5Y-4zFyRv-A
The original version:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=7FhN9Y-neQ0


The translation:
I believe in Allah,
and in His angels,
and in His Holy Books,
and in His messengers,
and the Last Day (Judgement Day),
and that both good fate and bad fate are predeterment by Allah,
and in life after death.

For more info: http://anwary-islam.com/life/pillars_iman.htm

Sinterklaas

When you try to read 'sinterklaas' in english, it isn't so strange that it sounds a bit like Santa Clause. In fact, that is exactly how Santa Clause has been called into living :)

In Dutch folklore Sinterklaas gives presents to the children who have been nice the whole year. He comes all the way from .. no not the north pole .. but from SPAIN, together with his white horse and his companions the 'zwarte pieten'. The guys are black, and dressed in very colourful clothes - they are the ones carrying the bags with presents and they go down the chimney to put the presents in the shoes of the kids. It's because of the chimney that they've turned black.

As any holiday, there's more to the story than is being told. Many people don't know the history of Sinterklaas, and they probably don't care :P

In short, what I know of the story:

Sinterklaas' real name is Saint Nicolas. He was a bishop in the town of Mira (lies in Turkey). He was a good man, involved with the community and was nice to kids. He also freed some slaves, and out of thankfulness they remained at his side to accompany him. I don't know how Spain got in the picture, but if I'm not wrong St. Nicolas was/is also the saint of the shippers. That's why he comes with the boat, and well .. the boat has to come from another country, so why not Spain. The holiday of Sinterklaas is celebrated on the 5th of december, on the eve of his birthday.

For more info (in Dutch) and colouring fun, click on the picture!

In search of knowledge

Due to my brothers take-over of the nintendo DS, I had to look for a new hobby. I wonder if it's wise to work on a new project, while other 'projects' aren't done yet. Is it possible for me to combine them, to manage my little time properly so that I can do the right thing? I hope so, because working one project at the time just isn't my way. Whenever I feel inspired, I just have to act upon it. And so it is the case with my latest hobby-project.

Eventhough I am officially a psychologist now, I don't feel like one. Mostly because I'm not working atm :p Another factor is that I don't feel specialised enough. Mostly because I'm not working atm :p:p
SO, I've decided to educate myself further in the field of ISLAMIC PSYCHOLOGY! -- which has nothing to do with how muslims try to indoctrinate non-muslims or anything like that ;) in case you were wondering ..

No, I am interested in the Islamic views and perspective on the human being and it's psychological (emotional, social, cognitive, moral, etc) development. I've found some very interesting websites, that can help me in my search, and if you're interested in the subject then don't hesitate to visit them.

Koranische psychologie (dutch)
Muslim Psychologist (blog)
Islamic Psychology Online (articles and books)

And you know, to be honest, this is way much more fun than playing Zelda.
(but I do hope you finish the game soon bro!!)

edit 03/2008:
new links
Islamic Psychology 1
articles Islamic Psychology

Superstorm expected

I received a disturbing fwd-msg today, about a superstorm hitting the Netherlands in November 2007. Why would something that happens all over the world be disturbing, if it were to happen in such a small country in the world?
Well, because ... I LIVE THERE!! :p

In short: there's gonna be one storm between the 8th and the 13th of November, this is not the superstorm
The big one is expected between the 24th and the 28th of november, with winds going with more than 200km/h!! This will surely mean the end of the Netherlands, with half of the country under sea-level ..

The email I got said it was a dutch translation of the english text on weatheraction.fi - the prediction is made by a guy named 'Piers Corbijn'. Sceptic as I am, I went to the site.

Not suprised to find that no such site exists. There is however a website called weatheraction.com also naming Piers Corbijn, so perhaps that's where I may find this disastrous forecast. But I couldnt find any article or comment or statement regarding the Netherlands. No search results showed up when I typed 'superstorm' ..

The site however seems to be from a freelance forecaster, you can buy your forecasts there.. : It rieks of scams and hoaxes, so I left the site. Feeling a bit more reassured that there probably isn't gonna be a superstorm after all.

..

..

or is there? Do you remember the 'hilarious' prediction of a US-something-something-department? The one they made halfway the 90's, in which they said the Netherlands will be flooded in. .. 2007!! I remembered and .. Oh I found something ..

here it is:
"Key findings of the Pentagon Report:
· By 2007 violent storms smash coastal barriers rendering large parts of the Netherlands inhabitable. Cities like The Hague are abandoned. In California the delta island levees in the Sacramento river area are breached, disrupting the aqueduct system transporting water from north to south"
(source: http://www.commondreams.org/headlines04/0222-01.htm )
..
tutututututu (twilight zone music)
.

Newest Zelda

It has been released and I got it the first day. Well sort of, I bought it 'for my sister', because she's the one with a Nintendo DS.

The Phantom Hourglass. I LOVE it!! The gameplay is so much fun with the DS-pen (stylus) and a whole lot easier than the other Zelda-games. There is something annoying about the game though and that is the temple. The monsters in there will chase you whenever they see you, and since there is no defeating them you have to avoid being seen. This doesn't only take a lot of time, it is also immensely tricky. And time isn't something you have in the temple. What's worse, when they get to you and hit you, you lose time!! (and a heart)

Nevertheless, i still LOVE it, and can't wait for my sister to finish the game. So that I can borrow it!