it is from depths that you can climb high
oppression brings out courage
destruction brings out hope
desolation brings out faith
annihilation brings out resilience
hate brings out fraternation
pain brings out strength
light shines brighter in darkness
After seeing the documentary 'Fed up' I've realised that in fact I ám fed up. Not only with my eating habits, but with several aspects of my lifestyle.
After comtemplating I figured out that there are some fears that I have, and I don't want them anymore. It's these fears that lead me into (not) doing particular activities - and I'm quite fed up with that!
Overcoming my fears will result in a healthier, happier and more productive lifestyle.
The fears I have (i.e. the ones I could think of) are:
* speaking in public (I know, who thought about that?! Having been a teacher and all..)
* Taking part in traffic (like driving a car.. thinking about it is stressing about it)
* Being a disappointment (HIGH standards and I CANNOT fail!)
* Not looking good (I think that song is about me)
* Bad health (and that's definitely where I'm heading, if I don't make the effort to change)
So. To take charge of my life and improve myself I have to tackle these fears. They are annoying and obstructive. To help me with that I've taken the following steps:
- downloaded the app 'The Fabulous' and using it.
- video logging (vlogging is the word) my progress & reflections.
The app promises improvement within 15 days. Therefor I shall log at least every day for the coming 14 days.
I might blag, I mean blog about the progress.
Wish me luck!
ps. The vlogs are in dutch.
Today was a new day. Not like every other day is new. It was a particular kind of new. The kind that comes across once every few years - if you're lucky. The ones that bring new beginnings.
It was a new day and I can't wait till tomorrow.
I'm not sure if other women 'celebrate' the day they started wearing hijab. And if they would, it could probably be categorized as bidah (=innovation in religion).
That being said, I do take a minute every year to remember the day I started wearing hijab. It was the evening of April the 29th, that I stood in front of the mirror trying some scarfs on - like I have done so many evenings before. Trying them on this way and that, until I found a style that suited me. The thing different this time was that when I looked at myself I could still see me. That might sound weird, because who else was I expecting, right? Still, this was how I felt and concluded there and then that a hijab was a part of me and my identity. I remember how thrilled I was to take the step, how clear it was that this was something that belonged with me, and how much I wanted to do this.
I knew that I might chicken out if I'd let it stay there, in the try-outs of my room. To ensure that I was going through with it people had to see me wearing it.
The next day it (conveniently)was a Dutch holiday, Queensday, and that meant that everyone would be at the fair. I was bound to bump into people that I know, and they would see me wearing hijab. And confirm me. It would make it more real, and that is exactly what happened. Though, looking back, my hijab was confirmed with the first step out of the house ~ the people were just a motivation to literally take that step.
Every year since I reflect on what this hijab means to me, and go back to that core of the why and how I'm wearing one. And every year it makes me happy and proud and it motivates me to become a better me. The imaan is boosted once again.
Happy Hijabiversary to me!
..feeling quite done with microblogging (read: Twitter)
Re-learning to express in > 140 characters.
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