Relapsing

.
Most people who struggle with addiction will have one or more relapses - the return to drug use after a drug-free period - during their ongoing attempts to recover. This can be extremely frustrating for patients and for families, as they have already experienced great pain.
- source: http://www.hbo.com/addiction/understanding_addiction/15_relapse.html

I have to take a moment of reflection now.

After one year I thought I had beaten my addiction. I have been musicfree for months, and couldn't care less if I stumbled upon some sounds here and there. I even stopped singing along (in my head) in the supermarkets!!

And then there came twitter.
I've been looking for muslim role-models, people who the youth can look up to and who already have some influence on the youth due to their popularity. Who else than ..rappers..

Clever ones too, people who are saying sensible -and even inspiring- things. Funny things too, but that all doesn't really matter. Because every tweet is by default connected to their music and every tweet is an invitation to look up one of their songs, and listen to what else they have to say.
That was the reason I was following them in the first place, right?
To see what they have to say to the larger audience?

And thus, I fell for my own trap.
One song leading to another one, lingering a bit longer on the musicchannels, watching the Voice and getting involved by having opinions as well. Letting music in again. One year of effort, to keep it out, gone in a poof.

But not entirely, because I still stand behind my decision to quit music. I'll still go on 'attempting to recover', no matter how many relapses occur!
I am stronger than this! There's nothing you can't achieve when you're focused and dedicated to the cause!
The FIGHT will go on!!
SUCCESS will prevail!!
YEAH, I can do this!!!

 ..after Eid?..