A fairly good start, peaking at the middle and a somewhat disappointing end..
Not talking about a movie, though it applies to many. With a couple of weeks left, the year we arbitrairy name 2011 will be over. And, Alhamdulillah, there have been some great events, and amazing things have happened. But it‘s end is bothering me.
As I said it‘s somewhat disappointing, I got tired, lost motivation, (positive) energy and worst of all .. Imaan & Taqwa. Both have decreased immensely, and I‘ve become weaker in protecting myself against waswasa‘s and my Nafs‘ cravings. And I hate it. Still I feel stuck, immobilized, unable to get up and act into changing my habits for the better.
But what‘s bothering me most, is the similarity with my life on the whole.. a fairly good start, peaking in the middle, but a possible disappointing end..
That‘s not only bothering me, but it SCARES me! I am really afraid (and that doesn‘t happen often). Because at the end of life, it doesn‘t matter how many great events there have been, or how amazing some moments or periods of life were.. it all comes down to how it ends.
And I‘d rather end at the peak of my Imaan, fully entangeled in my deen, shrouded in Taqwa .. than what I have at the moment..
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